I Lost 5 Pounds in 2 Days!

loose-weight

Yes it is true…

I lost 5 pounds in 2 days an amazing feet I know and I woke up this morning and said…

“Self… why keep this amazing weight loss secret to yourself? Why not change the world by sharing it with others?”

and then I said…

“Self… thats a great idea.”

So grab a pencil or get your printer ready for I’m going to share with you my weight loss secret.

Are you ready?

GREAT!

Here’s step one…

1. Hug someone with the Flu.

This is a must needed step for it will head you in the direction of loosing those unwanted pounds.

(BTW – I have some glasses I have used you could drink from if you would rather not hug anyone.)

2. Go to bed.

Yes you heard it right… no exercise in this weight loss program just sleep and movies. Sound to good to be true? Nope… really it works.

3. Get Tamiflu.

This step is optional and requires a doctors visit. But DO NOT TELL THEM I SENT YOU OR THAT YOU ARE ON A WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

( Upon any smell of a lawsuit this blog will disappear and all copies of it will be denied.)

This is the only step that will cost you money… any where between $25 to $253 depending on your medical plan.

4. Eat Soup and Drink Fluids.

Yep, pick your favorite Campbell’s Soup flavor and go at it twice a day if you can. Drink water, sprite or juice. Remember… if you use diet drinks you will lose even more. And don’t worry about the taste difference, you can’t taste anything anyway but the fiz helps the ol throat area.

WARNING. You will experience headaches, random sweeting, congestion, and loneliness during your time on this plan. But don’t worry… the weight loss is worth it.

I’m on my way to losing 10 pounds!

And you can be too…

So get started today and don’t delay!

(this weight loss plan only works once every 3 years or so and may not work in some areas such as hips, belly etc… Do not consult your doctor before trying it… I already know what they will say)

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