Unsettled

shattered-soul

Sometimes I come up with plans of how to accomplish a vision.  Plans that in my mind will work great. Plans that I get attached too.

Maybe I attach myself to these plans because that gives me a level of security or maybe I attach myself to these plans because I do not like living without some sort of plan or agreed upon direction.

Maybe I do this because that’s what leaders do.  You can’t lead without a vision and some sort of plan to go with that vision or you are just a dreamer.

I like to know I am accomplishing something and taking steps toward the goal, or vision that is in my soul.  I do not think there is anything wrong with any of this.  We all work with in the template of how God has designed us and created us.

But

Sometimes

God throws a few wrenches into the mix.

This week has not been without those.

Some of the wrenches have been harder to bare than others.  Each doesn’t derail the path to the vision but they do change what it will look like as “we” progress there.

It’s not that I’m unwilling to adjust to the changes.

It’s not that I do not have faith in God that He knows what He is doing

and yes…

I do understand that a wrench to me is not a wrench to Him.

I do understand that a “course correction” is not a “course correction” to Him.

But it is hard once you are settled in a plan you think was going to be the plan.

It’s unsettling

But we have to adjust don’t we?

Yep…

And the adjustment time really depends on how deep you were emotionally attached to the plan.

So a few of these adjustments are going to take a while to get use too. There are “no worries” in this because  in the end I would rather have what God wants than push for what I want.

For though I really want what I want, my desire is, to have what He wants and that His “will be done here on Earth is as it is in heaven”.

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2 comments

  1. Sometimes we say “I know what you mean”, when we really don’t, but to this sentiment I can say I know EXACTLY how you feel. No, I’m sure the same wrench wasn’t thrown at me as was thrown at you, but a wrench is a wrench, nevertheless, and the feelings are the same. Thankfully I see that you already know we cannot be moved by feelings, but when we think we are doing just what God wants us to and a wrench is still thrown our way, it really hits hard. I can tell you that after three years we are beginning to see where God is putting us. So I will pray for you, Phillip, that you will find the peace that passes understanding and when you are back where God wants you you will find the joy unspeakable and full of glory. Much love toy you, Bonnie Whitaker

  2. I can totally understand. Sometimes that “wrench” seems unbearable, sadly. And takes a while to find the correct size bolt to use it on. Still looking for that bolt myself ;/

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