Those Moments

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Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel bad but you do not know why?

You are not sick

There is nothing physically wrong with you.

But you feel bad emotionally and you do not have a good reason to feel that way.

and the bad feeling doesn’t really seem to be an emotion either, its seems like it is deeper than that, it is like your soul is struggling to have life.  You spirit seems to be struggling with something you can’t define or point out. Something is wrong but you do not know what is wrong…

Do you ever have moments like that?

So…

you go through your list…

Am I mad at anyone?

Has someone said something to me that hurt me?

Is there a concern for what someone else is going through?

Did I give someone advice that caused them to not achieve something they had their heart set on?

and then somewhere down the list of things you begin to realize what you are feeling is deeper than all of that.  Its like you are steady but you feel like you are gray on the inside.  Good things are happening but you can’t reach out and feel that goodness because of whatever this is you are feeling that you just can’t define.

Have you ever had one of those moments?

Time seems to be moving slowly, you feel alone in a room filled with people, you know something is up, you want to figure out what it is and go for it but you can’t be cause you don’t know what it is…

Have you ever had one of those moments?

I’m having one…

Could it be spiritual warfare?

The fact that it has rained for the past two days?

Or maybe its Claritin D.

Maybe its your oldest child is about to graduate and maybe that is effecting you more than you realize.

Maybe its… just not getting better by writing this….

Have you ever had one of those moments?

Moments void of hope?

I am for some reason having one of those moments and am praying God will show me why…

but if He doesn’t at least I know this will not continue forever and will eventually pass into memory…

but until then I’ll be right here… deep into… one of those moments.

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